“Children are the fruit of the heart, pulsation janjung and soul mate.” This expression as one of the overflowing of the shedding of old people’s expectations to the future of their children. So close bonding of parents to their children, closeness is like a physical one soul in two, with one intact expectations, wants salvation of the world and the hereafter.
Those parents wishing to ensure their child become a good son, devoted, also religious. The desire was seen since the period of pregnancy, birth, raising children up in always getting the most attention in his life. Since the name has such a high expectation of parent intervention, as well as in education and election education institutions, this shows how great expectations for the formation of parents of children in accordance with expectations.
Hope it will become a reality, when the process dijankan properly. On the contrary expectation would be wasted when the process is not good nor true. Neither liked nor disliked, the behavior of children today is the result of parents’ education process, the better education at home are made directly or indirectly outside the home. Almost be said that the existing child’s life at this time is also an old people’s lives for educating the child, the child is also a habit habits of parents. Therefore, when a family atmosphere in a good atmosphere in directing the development of their children, then most likely the child will grow and be a good boy, and vice versa. Similarly, if the child was released along with television, means that their parents wanted her son to child television, so the character was born as he had witnessed.
Essentially all children are good, as you spoke by the prophet in the tradition, which means “every human being is born in a state of pure (nature), in whom the parents made the child a Jew, Christian or Zoroastrian.” Such as an expression of hadiths that the child was dependent on their parents. Want to forms such as whether the child’s character, attitude, boy, it really depends on the efforts of his parents. Means that the child is a mirror of their parents form their own desires.
Although each parent has a child berkeingian good, but in reality, not all that hope into reality, why did it happen? It appears that many parents who only successful ‘expect’ but many are failing in the ‘direct’. It would have a lot of facts showing that, where the child is not a heart Conditioning (Qurrata a’yun), but rather be a disaster in the family, which is far from the expectations of their parents.
Your lack of success of parents in fostering their children very often argued with the development of information technology is not educational, hands-impressions that are not healthy, as well as cultural reasons that are not conducive to have influenced its development. The reason is of course be justified on the one hand, but on the other hand it as one of the failure of parents in directing the child. Because however the development of technology and culture as a necessity that can not be prevented. This is where the duty of parents to pick and choose whichever is suitable and good for children, which is also not good.
Failure of at least three things parents choose the best for his son, which result in failure of the son-daughter in the future, among others:
a. Failure Situation Creating Households
Houses called “al-madrasatul Ulaa” or the first educational institution for children, children stay home as a place where children grow, and his teacher is the most dominant person in the house with him. Can jagi own parents or others can also, for busy parents, childcare is often left to others, then gurunyapun is the people with him. From the house that children learn spoken word, act, act, and others. From the study that later became the personality of the child.
Innate in children is not too far in his family situation, if the situation appeared affectionate family, the child will grow with the love potion is also affectionate. Conversely, if the family is full of words that is less well let alone full of violence, then anakpun will grow with what happened in that family. Child is very easy to record what is often entered through his ears, as well as what he saw in his life, the more often he sees something he also heard the more powerful it in shaping the character of the child.
Perhaps we never read the book Little Doctor, who tells the story of a young boy named Sayyid Husayn al-Baqa’baqa’I who could memorize the Qur’an Juz 30 and their meanings. The question is, why he could memorize it at a young age? Can we also like that? Most of us thought it was part of a miracle, but if we read history, apparently due to a family environment full of nuances of the Koran, hususnya support from the father or mother who also memorized the Koran to form self-boy personal Qur ‘ani.
The success of parents to educate children, beginning with its success to create a good atmosphere in the family. Similarly, the failure of parents in educating children early from the failure to give a good example within the family.
b. Failure to find a conducive environment
Child’s environment is a place where children can beraktualisasi ourselves, can the environmental community, as well as the school environment. For parents child care for the environment is very important, because with the environment that children can interact freely, if both the child’s environment helps to make himself better, otherwise if the environment is not good will also help make yourself that are not good.
There is a phrase “a person is a child of his environment”, meaning that the child character depending on the environment in which he beraktualisasi themselves, anaklah formed by the environment rather than vice versa. So the role of parents to find kondisif environment for children a must, because not all good environment for child development. Could have been educated in the family well, but the environment is not supportive, then education will experience constraints in the family. Duty parents should also be able to choose schools and good environment for the development of his son.
Diusia children who still can not pick and choose which is good and what is not good, in choosing educational institutions, parents have an important role to be steering the good and faithful. For many children there the characters are formed, whether by friend or by a figure of his teacher, the school situation is very helpful to the soul and character development of children.
c. Failure to find a Friend
The hadiths which have been popular would often we hear, which means “if you’re close to the perfume seller, then you will be given the perfume, at least you’ll get a scent of perfume, and if you close (friends) to determine welding, then you will get a spark of fire, at least be able to smell smoke. ” This hadith reminds the importance of living friends, playmates and friends in general, because it’s intentional or not will have a positive effect within a fast or slow.
There are other expressions in the book of Al-Muta’allim study groups about the importance of choosing a friend, said “about someone, do not ask him about it, but ask anyone of his friends, then you will know who he is”, meaning to know someone whether a good or no, quite simply by knowing his close friend, because in general one would become a close friend or will be a familiar friend to him if there are similarities with him. If a close friend had diligently prayed in the mosque, it is likely he will also often kemasjid, otherwise if his close friend leads the experts, will also likely be an expert sinners.
Child development will also be influenced by the presence of friends, then parents need to know with whom the boy’s friends, to be sure whether to be friends with him or not. Important to note that not a good friend who will be far more impact than a good friend. One friend who is not good to be bigger influence than the two good friends.
Lately there is a tendency of children have started to limit himself from his friends, he menguring at home and preoccupied with the existing facilities at home, whether television, gaming, and other toys. All of this is what made friends at home. Therefore, parents must also choose selectively which supports and which are not, let alone television shows, currently there is virtually no support for the development of a child into a good direction.
A word of ‘Ulama’ would be a reflection that “if we made friends with a chaplain ten years we may not be a chaplain, but it thieves made friends with only one month, it will be a professional thief.” This statement has a meaning that is not how fast either effect is contagious to others.
For parents not too late to mencatak a good kid, still a big chance to make it all better labih. In addition to the above trade is no less important is to provide a lawful and good consumption, accompanied by a prayer to God in every time for the good of his family. May Allah Almighty guide us all things, Amen.